The Day of Heartbreak
“Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.” Psalm 30:2
In May 2000, my late husband received the diagnosis of stage 4 colo-rectal cancer. The tumor was the size of a grape fruit. He needed to start a very aggressive treatment plan of chemotherapy and radiation therapy immediately, but first we had to pray and get a second opinion. Our prayers were for God’s will to be done as it pertained to the cancerous tumor. We went thru the chemo and radiation for several months and one day, upon examination, the doctor said “This is very unusual the tumor is hard like a shoe sole and you are clear”. We thanked God for His miracle and healing along with the medicine. We went about life as usual. Several months later symptoms reappeared and a new tumor had grown again. The cycle of praying and seeking treatment begin again. This time the tumor had to be removed surgically. Oh, what a time of agony, pain, and slow recovery. He remained in the hospital 4 months and rehab for 1 month. He was released and came home with therapy and had clearance to start working in August 2002. Once again we rejoiced and presumed life as usual.
Then one beautiful Saturday afternoon in October, as I was folding laundry, I received a call to come outside immediately. There I found my best friend, lover, leader, confidant; my husband sitting in his car not breathing. My heart raced as I performed CPR and yelled for someone to call 911. The ambulance arrived, but I knew he was gone! My heart was shattered, not just broken but shattered, as I looked at the ambulance roll away. As tears rolled down my face, I realized there was a whirlwind of activity going on around me. People gathered, my little ones went with a friend, and I got in the car and headed to the hospital. I was numb to say the least. Arriving at the hospital I was directed to the emergency room, but I took a detour. At the end of a quiet hall there was a chair and I quickly knelled down to pray. It became my chapel and I was soothed by these words in my spirit, “I got you!” When I got up, I had peace (Philippians 4:7) and was able to move forward with all that I needed to do (Philippians 4:13), because I heard those words. I realized that in my weakness and heartache Jesus had me. That He would take care of me and my children, just as He cares for the birds in the sky!
Through the two bouts with cancer, temporary healing had taken place, but when the day was done I realized that God finally healed him ultimately by taking him to heaven. Divine healing had taken place! You see we can pray for healing, but we must recognize sometimes, God’s healing comes in ways we least expect. God answers prayers in His timing and His way. “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5