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In the Darkest Hour the SON Shines

“At noon, darkness fell across the whole land until three o’clock. At about three o’clock, Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”…Then Jesus shouted out again, and he released his spirit. At that moment the curtain in the sanctuary of the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. The earth shook, rocks split apart, and tombs opened. The bodies of many godly men and women who had died were raised from the dead. “Matthew 27:45-46, 50-52 NLT

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:1-5 ESV

This past month has been a struggle for me. My mind has been a war zone between faith and trust with fear and doubt.  I am operating with my last financially and I have been trying do everything in my will by looking for jobs that will support me, even though I don’t believe God is directing me to a conventional 9 to 5 job and beyond where He has me.  Now before you misunderstand me, I am not saying God has told me to be a bum.  Yet the more I try to do things in my will, the more doors have closed. I have been scared of falling flat on my face and losing everything I have including my home.  I have wondered what shame I would feel if that was to come to past and what kind of glory God could get from that. I have wondered if I have been foolish. You see, I struggle with letting go and letting God.  I am a fighter and a hustler (I have always been able to find a job and/or source of income through hard work and talent) yet the more I try, the more I feel as if I am spinning my wheels. This is a first for me. It’s also been hard because I have been obedient. I am doing what God has assigned me to do.  And guess what? I have wondered how can I be following God’s will obediently, yet be facing this cliff.  I wonder if Jesus asked the same question as He faced the cross.

But God has written me a love letter.  He has written a love letter in my heart, in my mind, and in my Spirit.  In that love letter, the most important thing He told me these past few days is that the Son shines in the darkest hour.

The SON shines in the darkest hour.

That’s what He told me. Those were the very words whispered to my spirit and with those words; He took me to the cross.  He took me to Jesus.  It may look like all doors were closed on Good Friday. Jesus hung on a cross accused, beaten, and broken. Dead. Yet when death occurred, when everything looked to be over and done with, that is when the Son did His greatest work.  In this scripture we see history at its darkest hour. We are witnesses to the hours of Jesus Christ’s death. But as it is now a part of history that means we also know the resurrection came next. We know that the Son did His greatest work in the dark as He conquered death and sin once and for all.

The Son shines and is LIGHT in the darkness.

I am now thankful for closed doors. It’s hard, I will not lie, but closed doors are forcing me to a new level of dependence on God. I know just what I can do and am capable of in my own hand.  Yet do I know all that God is capable of? No. My mind cannot conceive all that He is capable of because my mind is finite and He is infinite.

So what doors are closing in your life?  Where are you at your last? Mentally?  Spiritually? Financially? Where do you feel that darkness is trying to crowd you and extinguish the light?  Whatever it may be, know that the love letter God gave to me wasn’t just for me.  The SON shines in the darkest hour and the LIGHT always wins.  I rest in knowing that for my future. May you as well.